Board Member from Niger
“I turned in my Board Member resignation days before, so I asked: “why should I go to Kenya for this conference?” Then they refused my resignation, so I came. I have invested the last 2 years in the Transformation by Action Program. I found it to be too much duty in my life. I came to the realization while at the conference: I need my own personal transformation.”
Senegal – Abelle
I actually mocked coming at the invitation for this conference, because I am actually teaching on the heart. I came to the realization, while here, that I have a spirit of pride. I need God in a deeper way and I need His love. I want this transformed life. My desires have changed.
” had much expectation in coming. On Saturday, (the day before the conference). I had no ticket. I said, “God are You really going to make this happen? I know the plans you have for me” My doubt turned to confidence in the Lord, as a miracle took place through the prayers of many.”
“I thought I knew my heart and so why come? I realize a portion of my heart didn’t want to be exposed. My idols appeared and pride. God took those idols, through prayer and laying on of hands. I now feel free.”
“I didn’t know what to expect from this conference. And God spoke to me; He said I was complacent. After many significant roles in the government, He has spoken to me and said, “you have not completed what I asked you” and “you have not been salt”.
Kenyan Leader: Grace ( National Director)
“I was overwhelmed by the new responsibility. God has revealed that I am a “doer” and I run, run, run. It has become clear that this is the heart of my cultural christianity. He is taking my heart and opening it and I am becoming free.”
PJ (Leader in Kenya)
“I must give an apology to those who served under me; I have an issue of pride. I don’t want to be seen as naked on the stage. I held back on things we could have done. Things could have been so much better but I didn’t want to fail. (He named specific people.) I give you my apology; I held you back. Let’s go forward!
I called my wife. I had left an Action Plan of what should happen while I was away. My wife told me what she had been doing and all they had gotten done. “Wow”, I said, “you got all that done?” My wife responded, “I think we get more done when you’re away because you make us nervous”. My problem is that people have to perform. God said, “David, love your family”. Maybe, I have done it with staff, directors…I am very direct. I ask forgiveness, help me learn. I must accept and not impose. I am going to ask my wife and son’s forgiveness.
In the manual (p-159: 3 columns of “Living All for Him), I read through the list. At the bottom of the first page, I found my heart on the secular side. I come from a tribe with totems: the behavior of the buffalo (fight for life; do not give up). I have loved work, more than God. I want the winning side. I am product driven, a slavedriver. I put God next to me, not in me. I want to leave a good legacy – that’s more for me. I wanted to leave my name (not the name of God) behind. I now want the name of Jesus left behind.
I realize there has been so much numbness in my heart. I have been like this for quite some time. The reason: I am carrying bitterness for my leaders, local YFC leaders. I was thrown in and told to swim in my role. I focused on people leading me and everyday the pain in my heart grew. I was expecting them to give me money rather than trusting God to provide. Married only one year, m wife found it hard to come and be with YFC because of what she saw in me: anger. I would say I was quitting. I want to take this time to appreciate my leader Thomas. I have learned that it’s about me – I carried bitterness. I will say I am sorry to my wife. I have shown my bad side. I ask God to help me walk this road as best He wants me to.
Hillary, Sierra Leon
I have a verse from 1995: Jn 14:12. God opened my eyes here to see more in this verse. I have been dogged, ruthless, following rules, fighting hard to please the Lord and it ended in failure. God has opened my eyes to love Him more! I pushed my family into being a family of God; I have said hurtful words to my children. I dismally failed them. My heart bleeds; I ask forgiveness. Out of love, I will take them along.
The past: tears! 10 years ago, I was very wounded. I shared with my brothers and received no satisfaction or help. I must deal with this in order to bring healing. I now forgive those who hurt me. “I forgive you…”
Kenya – Mariha
My transformation began yesterday and continues. While sleeping, things came back to me. Malicious words about me spread in my church and then to my family. I was broken. My pastor wounded me. I decided: I will not trust again. The Lord has ministered to my heart. I was like a closed up wall; I didn’t want to mingle. I had changed even to my own family. I was a closed child. I have forgiven. I will take the initiative to say I am sorry. I am humbled – it begins with us!
God, fill me with your power! I desire to bear fruit. It’s not about my power; but me giving myself to Him. My prayers will change: whether He “does” what I want or not; I will give myself to Him. Bitterness had developed into gossip; I was seeking sympathy.
I was turning to other things for satisfaction, and I was seeking them. I turned to other people for comfort. I was putting trust in people and things. Now I know that relationships will be better if I turn everything to God. God loves me more than anyone else does. I must make my relationship with God better. I will ask forgiveness from my wife and family. I ask God to heal relationships.
Unnamed Man from Kenya
Inside, I thought: no one needs to know this one. I broke someone’s trust; they were so hurt. I am seeking forgiveness.